FOR THE MOST PART I was a pretty good attention-payer. Occasionally, a teacher or other authority figure would ask, “Are you paying attention?” It was a legitimate question. I’m a daydreamer. A blank stare off into space could cause someone to question if a daydreamer is paying attention.

That’s a weird figure of speech, isn’t it: paying attention? I did a bit of research to see if I could find an origin; not much luck. It almost sounds like a currency of courtesy. Let’s say one of your grandchildren is going into deep detail about how she solved the Wordle puzzle in three guesses and why it took you six. Out of respect for this grandchild, and her uncanny ability to solve word puzzles, you pay her with respect by giving her your attention. [This is the grandchild who can’t watch “Wheel of Fortune” without losing her mind, yelling the puzzle answer at the TV while questioning the intelligence of the players, “These people are adults! How can they not see the answer?!”]

Grandkids want even more than our full and undivided attention. I use an email address from time to time that is a line I've heard often from them: hey.pops.hey@gmail.com. If someone sends me an email using that address, I can't help but pay attention.

Attention-paying is obviously a trait we want to develop in our young. It’s essential to civil discourse which is drying up and blowing away in our current culture. There’s a risk though. What parent hasn’t had one of those experiences where you discover that your child WAS paying attention when it might have been better if they weren’t. Here’s one of my favorite anecdotes:

True story. Dear friends of ours told me this story about an event at their church. This is one of those churches where a brave pastor calls the little children to the front of the church for a “children’s sermon”. One Sunday morning the pastor welcomed the kids. A little girl asked the pastor what he thought of her new dress. “It’s lovely!” he said. And, she replied, “Thank you. My Mom says it’s a real bitch to iron.”

If you’re a pastor, PAY ATTENTION. What she was saying is, “Please study hard, make every word of your sermon count, don’t waste our time. We’ve made effort and sacrifices to be here.” At least that’s my interpretation; sometimes paying attention allows us to read between the lines.

Paying attention seems grueling sometimes. Now we’re supposed to “pay attention to our bodies”, we’re supposed to stay “weather-aware”, we’re supposed to be vigilant of scammers and scoundrels. Look both ways before you cross the street. There are parking bumpers hiding in the cold, wet, wintry night. Pay attention or you could trip over one and be left wondering if your ribs will ever be the same again.

It’s tiring and it seems so inner-focused. Maybe that’s why it’s so difficult to pay attention to those around us, we’ve nothing left to pay. Our attention capacity is at a deficit or overdrawn. How about us? Is anyone paying attention to us?

I’ve decided it’s impossible to bankrupt your attention capacity because paying attention can be energizing, fulfilling, even life-giving. Let me offer a few examples: I have friends who are amazing photographers, technically and aesthetically. It is like their visual radar is on all the time. They see lighting, perspective, subtility, color, depth of field, composition in a way us mere-mortals don’t. It’s the same with musicians and poets. They hear melodies, harmonies, and feel rhythms. They understand life in moods, modes, points and counterpoints.

As a hobby-writer I have discovered I pay attention more, and deeper when I'm in a writing groove. I'm always questioning: what's behind that, why is it, when, where, ifs, ands, and buts. Discovery is so exhilarating and it happens when we're paying attention.

“If a work of art is rich and vital and complete, those who have artistic instincts will see its beauty, and those to whom ethics appeal more strongly than aesthetics will see its moral lesson. It will fill the cowardly with terror, and the unclean will see in it their own shame.” — Oscar Wilde

Our Grand-Girl, Nora, is an attention-payer. Not only does she listen with the curiousity of an old woman sitting under the hair dryer at the beauty shoppe, she will stare a hole, picking up quirky body language, nuance and stuff.

There's a coffee house in our town that Nora and I visit from time to time. One day we were sitting enjoying coffee and hot cocoa. She carried her mug to a sofa in the corner and sat, looking, studying. Then she moved to the window seat and tried it out. Then she moved to a table toward the back where students were sitting with laptops open, staring at their phones.

Finally, she returned to our table and offered this:

"I really like the aestetics of this place. Karlee (her oldest sister, the one with her own bedroom), has good aestetics. Harper (her next oldest sister, with whom she shares a bedroom), thinks that when Karlee goes to college she's going to get her bedroom. I told her that when Karlee goes to college she's going to pack up all of her aestetics and take them with her."

I didn't say anything. I just paid attention. That's what she wanted: my attention, not an opinion or comment, just attention.

These days you might hear a certain song playing. I'm not talking about that Mariah Carey song. We're likely to hear that one several times a day. The one I'm talking about says, "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing".

Hark is a word that means pay attention. This song is about a story, recorded in Luke chapter 2 of the Bible:

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

On earth peace and good will. Yes, please. In the midst of the season, the busy-ness, the chaos. I need to remind myself to pay attention. Friday we went to Hinton to watch three of the Grands in the school Christmas program. I paid attention and it was beautiful. After the program, Haddi, the oldest Grand-Girl of our Hinton crew wanted to show me what she's been making. (She is an amazing maker.) She showed me a box of little snowpeople she's made from socks she stuffs with rice. The picture above is two of her collection. She explained how she makes them and her marketing strategies. I paid attention and was so proud of her.

My Christmas wish for and yours: go out there and do some harking!

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HARK!

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